Good News From The Old Testament

Giants roamed the earth?	Genesis 6:4
Noah, saved by God to create a new race, is a raving drunk	Genesis 9:20-21
Ham and all of his descendents are marked as slaves because he saw his father, Noah, drunk & naked?	Genesis 9:20-25
It's OK to turn your daughter into a prostitute	Genesis 19:4-8 Judges 19:22-29
Incest is approved by God	Genesis 19:30-38
God impregnates Sarah with a Son (pre-Jesus?)	Genesis 21:1-2
Abraham prepares to sacrifice his son for God	Genesis 22:9,10
Polygamy is encouraged/blessed by God	Genesis 29:16-30:24
Jacob causes cattle to conceive by pointing sticks at them	Genesis 29:37-39
God wrestles Jacob but wins only by cheating	Genesis 32:24-30
God's people deceive & slay an entire city for one rapist as he tries to make amends	Genesis 34:13-29
God kills Judah's first-born because he displeases the Lord	Genesis 38:7
God kills a man for not impregnating his widow-in-law	Genesis 38:13-19
Moses murders an Egyptian	Exodus 2:12
Moses orders the Israelites to lie & steal from their Egyptian hosts	Exodus 3:22
God tells Moses that He will cause Pharaoh to resist God's own will (thus giving God reason to kill all of Egypt's firstborn)	Exodus 4:20 Exodus 11:4-5
God meets Moses at a hotel and tries to kill him, but changes His mind when Moses' wife mutilates their son for God	Exodus 4:24
Disobedient children are to be stoned to death	Exodus 21:17 Leviticus 20:9
Slaves are good! Here's some rules for having your own slave	Exodus 21:2-6
OK to sell your own daughter into servitude	Exodus 21:7
No punishment for him who only beats or slowly kills his slave	Exodus 21:20-21
Entering the holy place without wearing bells will result in death	Exodus 28:34-35
God runs a protection racket, demanding tribute whenever a census is taken	Exodus 30:11-16
A woman who comes to the aid of her husband must be brutally mutilated	Deuteronomy 25:11-12
A raped woman is to marry her rapist for 50 shekels	Deuteronomy 22:28-29
God kills 2 of Aaron's sons for making unauthorized offerings to Him	Leviticus 10:1-2
Rabbits chew their cud & have hooves?	Leviticus 11:6 Deuteronomy 14:7
Bats are birds?	Leviticus 11:19 Deuteronomy 14:18
Some birds have four legs?	Leviticus 11:20
Houses & clothes cause leprosy but can be healed with bird's blood	Leviticus 14:33-57
Anyone who utters the Name of the Lord shall be put to death	Leviticus 24:16
Follow God's laws or suffer His punishment	Leviticus 26:14-39
It's God wish for his Chosen people to own slaves	Leviticus 25:44-46
Drinking Temple dust identifies Adulterous women	Numbers 5:21-28
God deliberately poisons starving Jews who complain	Numbers 11:4-5,31-34
The Lord orders the stoning of a man who picked up sticks on the Sabbath	Numbers 15:32-36
God kills a Jewish council that challenges the authority of Moses & Aaron; then kills 15,000 more when the Jews complain about the 1st killing	Numbers 16
Donkeys talk to their masters?	Numbers 22:21-30
Moses orders the slaughter of mothers & children and the enslavement of 32,000 virgins as prostitutes	Numbers 31
Moses encourages pedophilia	Numbers 31:18
The Lord orders the slaughter of "every living thing" in the promised lands to allow the Jews to reside there	Deuteronomy 20:16
A virgin who is raped must marry her rapist	Deuteronomy 22:28-29
The Lord will cause other men to sleep with your wife if you disobey Him	Deuteronomy 28:15,30
Cannibalism is approved of	Deuteronomy 28:53 II Kings 6:29
Achan, his children and animals are ordered killed by Joshua for Achan's failure to turn over some spoils stolen from Jericho	Joshua 7:18-25
Where's the harm in a little gang-rape...?	Judges 19:24-29
God gives 'emerods' (hemorrhoids) to Israel's conquerors	I Samuel 5:6-9
God kills 50,070+-Israelis for (all?) looking in the Ark	I Samuel 6:19
God orders the complete annihilation of a tribe (INCLUDING all children, women, even animal herds!) because it had warred against Israel several hundred years earlier	I Samuel 15:2-3
God instructs Samuel to lie (and even provides the lie to tell)	I Samuel 16:1-2
Evil spirits come from God?	I Samuel 16:14-23
David, God's chosen, kills 200 Philistines in order to collect their foreskins as tribute to marry the King's daughter	I Samuel 18:27
David cries over the death of his gay lover (& brother) Jonathan	I Samuel 18:1 II Samuel 1:25-26
The Lord strikes down a man who kept the Ark from tipping over	II Samuel 6:6-7
God kills David's (1st) child for David's adultery with Bathsheeba and having her husband killed (breaking 2 Commandments)	II Samuel 12:1-19
God kills 70,000 Israelites with a plague because David took a Census	II Samuel 24:1-17
"Let her breasts satisfy thee..."	Proverbs 5:19
God seriously abuses a devout believer and kills his children on a dare from Satan	Job
Slugs and snails melt as they move?	Psalms 58:8
"Happy be the one who dashes your little ones against the stones..."	Psalms 137:9
Explicit pornographic description of sexual intercourse w/Solomon	Song of Solomon 1:12-14
Sexual fondling celebrated	Song of Solomon 5:4
God's army is defeated because the enemy owns iron chariots	Judges 1:19
The Lord tricks a believer into sacrificing his virgin daughter to Him	Judges 11:29-39
God orders the annihilation of a peaceful and unsuspecting city in order to give one of the tribes of Israel a place to live	Judges 18:1-2,7-10 Judges 27-28
God punishes other Jewish Kings because they haven't kept God's Commandments as David did (despite II Samuel 12)	I Kings 14:8
Elijah turns out to be the first (before Jesus!) to raise people from the dead	I Kings 17:17-22
God hatches a plot of deception against King Ahab	I Kings 22:21-23
God' prophet Elisha murders 42 children for taunting him	II Kings 2:23-24
'We LIKE children - especially boiled, with a little salt'	II Kings 6:28-29
Elisha's BONES raise someone from the dead	II Kings 13:20-21
Israeli King Menahem rips open all the pregnant women	II Kings 15:16
<unspeakable filth>	II Kings 18:27 Isaiah 36:12
The Lord is a sexual voyeur	Isaiah 3:17
The earth is square with four corners	Isaiah 11:12
God boasts of his ability to fart musically	Isaiah 16:11
God admits he 'saved' the Jews in the desert simply so he could have someone to worship Him	Isaiah 43:20-21
God boasts that he is the source of all evil	Isaiah 45:7
God promises to punish the Israelis by personally lifting up their skirts and exposing their genitals (to Himself?)	Jeremiah 13:26
God commands his followers to make & eat bread from dung	Ezekiel 4:12-15
God admits sparing the Jews in the desert only in order for Him to save face with the Gentiles	Ezekiel 20:13-14
God admits to purposely giving out bad laws	Ezekiel 20:25
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of horses."	Ezekiel 23:20
Daniel's informers (who had told the truth about Daniel), with their wives & children, are fed to the lions immediately after Daniel's liberation in order to appease God	Daniel 6:24
God promises to smear shit over the Israeli priests' faces and cripple their offspring for offering inferior sacrifices	Malachi 2:3

Good News From The New Testament

Plucking out your eye is a profitable & good thing to do	Matthew 5:29
Give to everyone who asks you for money	Matthew 5:42 Luke 6:30-35
Give no thought for tomorrow; God will take care of you	Matthew 6:25-34 Luke 12:22-31
Pray only in private, never in public	Matthew 6:5-6
Jesus has come not to send peace, but a sword	Matthew 10:34
Jesus has come to cause families to turn on each other	Matthew 10:35-39
Jesus spurns his own family	Matthew 12:47-48
Gentiles are not who Jesus wants to save	Matthew 15:22-24
Jesus promises to return before all of his followers (gathered before him) "taste death"	Matthew 16:28 Mark 9:1 Luke 9:27
If you are able, castrate yourself for the Kingdom of Heaven	Matthew 19:12
Jesus is angered by a fruitless fig tree; kills it	Matthew 21:17-19 Mark 11:14-20
Judas hangs himself (but see Acts 1:18)	Matthew 27:3-5
Jesus is betrayed by / gives up on God	Matthew 27:46
Abandon your family for the Kingdom of Heaven	Mark 10:29
Believers can handle snakes & drink poisons without harm	Mark 16:17-18
Sell everything you own and give it all to charity	Luke 12:33 I Timothy 6:8
Disobedient, lazy slaves are to be beaten 'with many stripes'	Luke 12:47
Jesus has come not for peace but for division	Luke 12:51-52
Hate your family, your parents & your life for Jesus	Luke 14:26
"But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me" [Jesus]	Luke 19:27
Jesus orders his followers to steal someone else's horse for him	Luke 19:30-35
Jesus encourages all to get swords	Luke 22:36
A solar eclipse occurs during a full moon??	Luke 23:45
Jesus scorns and refuses his own mother Mary	John 2:4
Jesus endorses cannibalism (or fellatio)	John 6:53-57
All that follow Jesus are thieves and robbers	John 10:8
Jesus claims that the Jews are all Gods, per scripture	John 10:34
Judas explodes in a field (but see Matthew 27:3-5)	Acts 1:18
Jesus' disciples condemn Paul & his teachings	Acts 21:20-22,27-36, Acts 22:21-29
Jesus was fathered by Joseph, not God	Romans 1:3
Paul admits to being a liar whenever it is convenient	Romans 3:7
Men and widows should not marry, but remain chaste	I Corinthians 7:1-38
God deliberately chooses stupid people to be Christians	I Corinthians 26:29
"Slaves, obey your masters wholeheartedly..."	Ephesians 6:5-7 Colossians 3:22 I Peter 2:18
The end justifies any means	Philippians 1:15-18
Slaves should defer to their masters and work to please them	Titus 2:9-10
Women are to be silent at all times	I Corinthians 14:34-35 I Timothy 2:11-12
Paul writes love-notes to his disciple Timothy	II Timothy 1:1-7
God is Jasper (Green)-colored!	Revelation 4:2-8
God will rapture to Heaven as his 'Chosen People' 144,000 virgin men "undefiled" by women	Revelation 14:1-4
Jesus promises (2,000 years ago) that he is 'coming quickly'	Revelation 22:20

Bible Contradictions

God is satisfied with his works; it is good. Genesis 1:31	God is dissatisfied with his works, decides to destroy it all. Genesis 6:6
Man created before the animals Genesis 2:18-19	Man created after the animals Genesis 1:25-27
God dwells in temples II Chronicles 7:12,16	God does NOT dwell in temples Acts 7:48
God dwells in light I Timothy 6:16	God dwells in darkness Exodus 20:9,2 1I Kings 8:12 Psalms 18:11 Psalms 97:2
God can be seen and heard Genesis 3:9-10 Genesis 32:30 Exodus 24:9-11 Exodus 33:11,23 Isaiah 6:1	God is invisible, cannot be seen nor heard by anyone Exodus 33:20 John 1:18, 5:37 I Timothy 6:16
God is never tired and never rests Isaiah 40:28	God is tired and rests Genesis 2:2-3 Exodus 31:17 Jeremiah 15:6
God is omniscient, sees & knows all things Proverbs 15:3 Psalms 139:7-10 Job 34:21,22	God is NOT omniscient, neither sees nor knows all things Genesis 3:8-9 Genesis 11:5 Genesis 18:20-21
God knows the hearts of men Psalms 139:2,3; Acts 1:24	God tests men to learn of their hearts Genesis 22:12 Deuteronomy 8:2 Deuteronomy 13:3
God is all-powerful Jeremiah 32:27 Matthew 19:26	God and His army are defeated because the enemy has iron chariots Judges 1:19
God is unchangeable Numbers 23:19 Ezekiel 24:14 Malachi 3:6 James 1:17	God is quite changeable Genesis 6:6 Exodus 33:1,3,14,17 Jonah 3:10 I Samuel 2:30-31 II Kings 20:1,4-6
God is just and impartial Genesis 18:25 Deuteronomy 32:4 Ezekiel 18:25 Psalms 92:15 Romans 2:11	God is unjust and partial Genesis 4:4-5, 9:25 Exodus 20:5 Matthew 13:12 Romans 9:11-13
God is not the author of evil Deuteronomy 32:4 I Corinthians 14:33 James 1:13	God IS the author of evil Ezekiel 20:25 Lamentations 3:38 Jeremiah 18:11 Isaiah 45:7 Amos 3:6
God gives freely to those who merely ask Luke 11:10; James 1:5	God withholds blessings Joshua 11:20 Isaiah 63:17 John 12:40
God is kind, merciful, and good Lamentations 3:33 Ezekiel 18:32 Psalms 25:8 Psalms 145:9 I Chronicles 16:34 James 5:11 I Timothy 2:4 I John 4:16	God is cruel, unmerciful, destructive and ferocious Deuteronomy 4:24 Deuteronomy 7:16 Jeremiah 13:14 I Samuel 15:2-3 I Samuel 6:19
God's anger is slow and ends quickly Psalms 30:5 Psalms 103:8	God's anger is quick and endures long Numbers 25:4 Numbers 32:13 I Samuel 15:2-3 Jeremiah 17:4
God has not seen wickedness in Israel Numbers 23:21	God punishes his chosen people repeatedly for their wickedness Numbers 11:1, 11:33, 16:35 Numbers 16:44-49, 21:5
God forbids human sacrifices Deuteronomy 12:30,31	God accepts human sacrifices Genesis 22:2 II Samuel 21:8,9,14 Judges 11:29-39
God cannot lie Hebrews 6:18	God lies by proxy, sending lying spirits Ezekiel 14:9 I Kings 22:23 II Thessalonians 2:11
God commands / approves / delights in burnt offerings, sacrifices and holy days Exodus 29:18 Exodus 29:36 Leviticus 23:27	God disapproves / finds no pleasure in burnt offerings, sacrifices or holy days Jeremiah 6:20 Jeremiah 7:22 Isaiah 1:11-13 Psalms 50:13,14
God will not destroy man because of wickedness Genesis 8:21	God destroys man because of wickedness Genesis 6:7 Genesis 19:24-25 There is but one God Deuteronomy 6:4 There are many Gods Genesis 1:26 Genesis 3:22 Genesis 18:1-3 I John 5:7 Zephaniah 2:11
Ten Commandments - Version 1.0 Exodus 20:2-17 Ten Commandments - Version 2.0 Exodus 34:14-26	Ten Commandments - Version 1.1 Deuteronomy 5:6-22 Ten Commandments - Version 1.2 Deuteronomy 27:15-26
Robbery is forbidden by God Exodus 20:15; Leviticus 19:13	Robbery is commanded by God Exodus 3:21-22 Exodus 12:35-36
Lying is forbidden by God Exodus 20:16 Proverbs 12:22 Revelations 21:8	Lying is approved/sanctioned by God Genesis 34:13-29 Exodus 1:18-20 I Kings 22:21-22 Joshua 2:4-6 James 2:25
God tempts no man Jeremiah 20:7 Matthew 6:13 James 1:13	God tempts men constantly Genesis 22:1; II Samuel 24:1
Incest is cursed Deuteronomy 27:22 Leviticus 20:17	God blesses Abraham and his sister Sarah's union as husband and wife Genesis 17:15-16, 20:11-12
Abraham had one son at 100, with providence Genesis 21:2 Romans 4:19 Hebrews 11:12	Abraham had six sons at 100, without providence Genesis 25:1-2
God promised Canaan to Abraham and his seed for ever Genesis 13:14, 15, 17, 17:8	Abraham and his seed never received promised land Acts 7:5, Hebrews 11:9, 13
Moses feared the Pharaoh Exodus 2:14,15,23 Exodus 4:19	Moses did NOT fear the Pharaoh Hebrews 11:27
Moses was a very meek man Numbers 12:3	Moses was a very cruel and powerful man Numbers 31:15-17
Satan kills 70,000 Israelites with a plague because David took a census II Samuel 24:1-17	God kills 70,000 Israelites with a plague because David took a census I Corinthians 21:1-7,14
God's punishment for David's sins was 7 years of famine on the entire populace II Samuel 24:13	No, it was only 3 years (but it was still on the entire populace) I Chronicles 21:11-12
Making of graven images is forbidden Exodus 20:4	Making of graven images is commanded Exodus 25:18,20
"Remember the Sabbath Day, Keep it Holy" Exodus 20:8	No day is holy unless you decide it is Romans 14:5
Killing is forbidden Exodus 20:13	Killing is commanded Exodus 32:27, et al.
Good works are to be seen of men Matthew 5:16	Good works are NOT to be seen Matthew 6:1
Slavery and oppression are forbidden Exodus 21:16 Exodus 22:21 Isaiah 58:6 Matthew 23:10	Slavery and oppression are ordained Genesis 9:25 Leviticus 25:45-46 Joel 3:8
Judging of others is forbidden Matthew 7:1-2	Judging of others is approved I Corinthians 6:2-4, 5:12
Castrated men are abomindations to the Lord Deut. 23:1	Eunichs are pleasing to the Lord, have special place in heaven; all who can be castrated, should do so Matthew 19:12
Anger is disapproved Ecclesiastes 7:9 Proverbs 22:24 James 1:20	Anger is approved Ephesians 4:26
Public prayer is sanctioned I Kings 8:22,54, 9:3	Public prayer is disapproved Matthew 6:5-6
Importunity in prayer is commended Luke 11:8,18:5-7	Importunity in prayer is condemned Matthew 6:7-8
Wearing of long hair by men is sanctioned Judges 13:5; Numbers 6:5	Wearing of long hair by men is condemned I Corinthians 11:14
Circumcision is commanded Genesis 17:10	Circumcision is condemned Galatians 5:2
The Sabbath is commanded Exodus 20:8	The Sabbath is repudiated Isaiah 1:13 Romans 14:5 Colossians 2:16
Baptism is commanded Matthew 28:19	Baptism is not commanded I Corinthians 1:14,17
No one has ever seen God John 1:18	Jacob tells all that he has seen God Genesis 32:30
Every animal has been created for food Genesis 9:3 I Corinthians 10:25	Some animals are not to be eaten Deuteronomy 14:7-8 Romans 14:14
The Earth will never be destroyed Ecclesiastes 1:4 Psalms 104:5	The Earth shall be destroyed II Peter 3:10 Hebrews 1:11 Revelations 20:11 The Earth WAS destroyed Genesis 7:6-24
Taking of oaths are sanctioned Genesis 21:23,24,31 Genesis 31:53 Numbers 30:2 Hebrews 6:13	Taking of oaths are forbidden Matthew 5:34
Marriage is approved Genesis 1:28, 2:18 Matthew 19:5 Hebrews 13:4	Marriage is disapproved I Corinthians 7:1,7,8
Divorce is restricted Mark 10:11-12 Luke16:18	Divorce is freely permitted Deuteronomy 21:10-14 Deuteronomy 24:1
Adultery is forbidden Exodus 20:14 Hebrews 13:4	Adultery is allowed Numbers 31:18 Josiah 1:2, 2:1-3
A man must marry his brother's widow Deuteronomy 25:5	A man cannot marry his brother's widow Leviticus 20:21
Equally punish those who injure you Exodus 21:23-25	Turn the other cheek to those who injure you Matthew 5:39
Be merry Ecclesiastes 9:7	Don't be merry, it is sinful I Corinthians 7:30
All of God's (male) people shall be circumcised as their covenant with God Genesis 17:10	There is no benefit in being circumcised Galatians 5:2
Children should not be punished for their parent's sins Ezekiel 18:20	God holds sons and daughters up to the 3rd & 4th generations for their father's crimes Exodus 20:5 God condemns all posterity for Adam & Eve's sin Genesis 3:15-17
Hatred of kindred is enjoined Luke 14:26	Hatred of kindred is condemned Ephesians 5:25,29,6:2 I John 3:15
Intoxicating beverages are recommended I Timothy 5:23 Psalms 104:15	Intoxicating beverages are discountenanced Proverbs 20:1,23:31,32
Women's rights are affirmed Judges 4:4,14,15, 5:7 Acts 2:18,21:9	Women's rights are denied Genesis 3:16 I Timothy 2:12 I Corinthians 14:34 I Peter 3:6
Man cannot fall from God's grace John 10:28 Romans 8:38-39	Man CAN fall from God's grace Ezekiel 18:24 Hebrews 6:4-6 II Peter 2:20-21
Those who are in graves shall rise again John 5:28-29 Luke 20:37 I Corinthians 15:52 Revelations 20:12-13	Those that die are to stay dead Job 7:9 Ecclesiastes 9:5 Isaiah 26:14
No man is without sin Proverbs 20:9 Ecclesiastes 7:20 Romans 3:10	Christians are sinless I John 3:6,8-9
Evil happens to the godly Hebrews 12:6 Job 2:3-7	Evil does not happen to the godly Proverbs 12:21 I Peter 3:13
Miracles are proof of divine mission Matthew 11:2-5 John 3:2 Exodus 14:31	Miracles are NOT proof of divine mission Deuteronomy 13:1-3 Exodus 7:10-12 Luke 11:19
Riches and prosperity are a blessing to God's people Genesis 39:2 Proverbs 12:21 Proverbs 15:6 Psalms 112:1-3 Psalms 37:28,32-33,37 Job 42:12 Mark 10:29-30	Poverty is a blessing Luke 6:20,24 James 2:5 Proverbs 10:15 Job 22:23-24
Misery and destruction are the lot of the godly Luke 21:17 Hebrews 11:37-38 II Timothy 3:12 Revelations 7:14	Worldly prosperity is a curse and bar to future reward Matthew 6:19-21, 19:24 Luke 6:20,24, 16:22
Wisdom is a source of enjoyment Proverbs 3:13,17	Wisdom is a source of grief and sorrow - avoid it Ecclesiastes 1:17-18
All scripture is inspired by God II Timothy 3:16	Some scripture is NOT inspired I Corinthians 7:6,12 II Corinthians 11:17
Temptation is desirable James 1:2	Temptation is NOT desirable Matthew 6:13
Prophesy is infallible II Peter 1:19	Prophesy is NOT infallible Jeremiah 18:7-10
There is unpardonable sin Mark 3:29	There is NO unpardonable sin Acts 13:39
The two Marys came to the sepulcher Matthew 28:1 The two Marys, Joanna, and other women came to the sepulcher Luke 24:10	The two Marys and Salome came to the sepulcher Mark 16:1 Only Mary Magdalene came to the sepulcher John 20:1
They came to the sepulcher at sunrise Mark 16:2	They came to the sepulcher before sunrise John 20:1
One angel was sitting at the sepulcher Matthew 28:2,5 One angel was in the sepulcher Mark 16:5	Two angels were standing at the sepulcher Luke 24:4 Two angels were in the sepulcher John 20:11-12
Jesus was to be three days, three nights in the grave Matthew 12:40	Jesus was to be two days, three nights in the grave Mark 15:25,42,44-46,16:19

Highlights and accomplishments of the Gideon family

Israel has become wicked. God delivers Israel to the Kingdom of Moab for 18 years of Moabite rule	Judges 3:12-13
When God decides to repent, he has the Israeli warrior Ehud rise up and slaughter all of Moab's 10,000 men to liberate Israel	Judges 3:28-30
80 years later, Ehud dies and Israel becomes evil again. God then 'sells' (?) them to the Canaanites as punishment	Judges 4:2
20 years later, God forgives Israel and decides to liberate them. On God's orders, Gideon's mother Jael tricks the Canaanite General Sisera to sleep in her tent, whereby she hammers a stake through his skull and thus liberates Israel	Judges 4:21; 5:26
Israel shortly goes bad again. As punishment, God delivers Israel to the Midianites to be ruled by them	Judges 6:1-6
7 years later, God feels merciful again. God sends an angel to recruit Gideon to kill the Midianites and liberate Israel. Gideon correctly points out that their misfortune under the Midianites is God's fault, not the Midianites' - but Gideon agrees to kill them anyway	Judges 6:13
Gideon practices religious intolerance and provokes war by tearing down the Midianites' altar to Baal and replacing it with his own	Judges 6:27
Gideon & 300 men slaughter all the Midianite men (120,000) who had gathered to seek vengeance against Gideon's actions	Judges 7:18-25
Gideon's army hunts down & kills another 15,000 fleeing Midianites	Judges 8:10-12
Gideon slaughters two neutral cities for denying food to his army	Judges 8:16-17
Gideon takes his place as ruler of Israel and makes two golden idols of himself for all Israel to worship	Judges 8:27
After Gideon's death, one of Gideon's 70 children, Abimelech, slaughters all of his siblings and proclaims himself ruler of Israel	Judges 9:1-5
Abimelech ambushes & kills those banished from his home city; then he turns & slaughters the rest of the city townsfolk	Judges 9:44-45
Abimelech rounds up the remaining 1,000 prisoners and burns them alive in the town tower	Judges 9:48-49

Jesus' So-Called Life

Jesus' ancestral genealogy #1 Matthew 1:1-17	Jesus' ancestral genealogy #2 Luke 3:23-28
Jesus is the son of David Matthew 1:1, Luke 1:32	Jesus is NOT the son of David Matthew 22:43-46 Mark 12:36-37
The Messiah shall be named Emmanuel Isaiah	The 'Messiah' is NOT named Emmanuel, but Jesus Matthew
Infant Jesus was taken to Egypt Matthew 2:14,15,19,21,23	Infant Jesus was NOT taken to Egypt Luke 2:22,39
Jesus was tempted in the Wilderness Mark 1:12,13	Jesus was NOT tempted in the Wilderness John 2:1,2
Jesus says that John the Baptist was Elijah reincarnated Matthew 11:14	John the Baptist denies being Elijah John 1:21
Jesus preached first sermon on the Mount Matthew 5:1-2	Jesus preached first sermon on the Plain Luke 6:17-20
John was in prison when Jesus went into Galilee Mark 1:14	John was NOT in prison when Jesus went into Galilee John 1:43, 3:22-24
Jesus taught non-resistance Matthew 5:39 Matthew 26:52	Jesus taught/practiced physical aggression Luke 22:36 John 2:15
No work is to be done on the Sabbath under penalty of death Exodus 31:15 Numbers 15:32,36	Jesus broke the Sabbath and taught disciples to do the same Matthew 12:1-3,5 John 5:16
"Honor thy father and mother" Exodus 20:12	Jesus implores his followers to hate their family Luke 14:26
Jesus states that if he ever witnesses himself, then his witness will be a false one John 5:31	Jesus bears witness of himself John 8:18
Jesus preaches 'Be not afraid of those who would kill you' Luke 12:4	Jesus avoided Jews who sought to kill him John 7:1 Jesus hides from a mob of stone-throwers John 8:59
Jesus was equal to God John 10:30, Philippians 2:5	Jesus was NOT equal to God Matthew 24:36, John 14:28
Jesus was all-powerful Matthew 28:18, John 3:35	Jesus was NOT all-powerful Mark 6:5
Jesus is the Son of Man Mark 9:9, 9:12	Put not your trust in the Son of Man Psalms 146:3
Jesus' mission was peace Luke 2:13-14	Jesus' mission was NOT peace Matthew 10:34
It was lawful for the Jews to put Jesus to death John 19:7	It was unlawful for the Jews to put Jesus to death John 18:31
Two thieves revile Jesus Matthew 27:44; Mark 15:32	One thief reviles Jesus Luke 23:39,40
Satan entered Judas at the Last Supper John 13:27	Satan entered Judas before the Last Supper Luke 22:3,4,7
Judas hangs himself Matthew 27:3-5	Judas explodes in a field Acts 1:18
Potter's field is purchased by Judas Acts 1:18	Potter's field is purchased by the chief priests Matthew 27:6-7
Jesus was crucified in the 3rd hour Mark 15:25	Jesus was crucified after the 6th hour John 19:12-18
Risen Jesus says 'Touch Me' John 20:27	Risen Jesus says 'Do Not Touch Me' John 20:17
Disciples were to wait in Jerusalem Matthew 28:10	Disciples were to go immediately to Galilee Luke 24:49
Jesus first appeared to apostles in a room Luke 24:33,36,37; John 20:19	Jesus first appeared to apostles on a mountain Matthew 28:16-17
Jesus ascended from Mount Olivet Acts 1:9,12	Jesus ascended from Mount Bethany Luke 24:50-51
Paul's attendants heard miraculous voice and stood Acts 9:7	Paul's attendants didn't hear and were prostrate Acts 22:9, 26:14