Metroplex Atheists
"If you're interested in us, we're interested in you!"

Infidels Bash Holiday Party 2000!

Whatta party! That's about all we can say. We had the biggest turnout of any party yet (close to 40 people total). We ate. We drank. We got the cops called on us. We exchanged gifts. We gabbed. We offended some of the more sensitive folks, and we laughed until our sides hurt. All in all, it was one of the best parties on record.

Read on for details!

Shelly's skills as a fry-cook have improved from last year. We accidentally over-bought on burgers, which turned out to not be as big a problem as we thought. We had planned to buy 24 burgers, but ended up cooking around 35 (from Omaha Steaks, first-class stuff). We also went through a few pounds of french fries and jalapeno-poppers, and even a couple of veggie-burgers for the herbivores in the crowd.

Big thanks to everyone who brought extra snacks and drinks. We didn't end up with a lot of leftovers.

In what is fast becoming a yearly tradition, we put up atheist-themed holiday signs on the Weatherford courthouse, as per the court-order forcing an "all or nothing" policy regarding privately-sponsored displays on county property. Here's Randy's display that was set up next to the courthouse nativity scene sponsored by a local business group.

Yes, the wise men are looking up at an American Atheists logo and Jesus is not exactly the same color as Mary.

Fortunately, it appears that this is going to be the last year for the yearly holiday signage. The county commissioners are wanting to have a public hearing early next year and will likely state that the "open forum" rule is not feasible. We'll see.

We had two displays this year. Metroplex Atheists also sponsored a cute holiday display featuring Chuck the Santa Fish, the magical holiday Darwin-fish who gives presents to all good atheist children.

The text reads "evolve yourself a happy holiday".

Here's the courthouse nativity scene which, not surprisingly, goes un-vandalized every year.

Interestingly, this display goes against the county's standards. The published standards require a small "sponsored by" sign, but they have none. We pointed that out to the city council on 12/11 when our atheist signs were approved. The commissioners stated that the group sponsoring the nativity scene was informed about it, but no action was taken to put up a sign.

The standards also state that anyone who puts up a non-conforming display can be banned from putting up a sign ever again. Anyone think that'll happen in this case?

Here folks are lugging out Randy's sign, set into the frame we used for previous solstice signs. Instead of removing the old sign, we just bolted the new sign on top of it, so it's quite heavy.

It's nice to have a professional builder working with you. Dick Hogan was easily able to cobble together enough stuff to put up both signs securely. Not that they'll be staying up long. Folks are a tolerant bunch out there.

About five minutes after we showed up, three police cars screamed towards us, lights and sirens blazing. Turns out some genius driving by dialed 911 and told 'em that there was a fight going on in front of the courthouse.

To the credit of the police, they didn't hang around long. Once we explained that we were putting up a display and had the proper permits, they left us alone. They were much more upset about the phony police call than about us.

Hey, it's not a party until someone calls the cops, right?

Here's the proud poppa posing with his artwork.

Here's Metroplex Atheists posing with Chuck the Santa Fish. We've all been good little atheists this year, so we won't be getting any Old Testaments in our stockings.

Here's the crowd with Randy's sign. The little red square to the left of Randy's sign is his "sponsored by" marker. Funny how we're following the rules better than the nativity scene people are.

Here's what the display looked like from the street. That's Randy's sign on the far left, right in front of the courthouse. The nativity scene is on the other side of the sidewalk, and the fish-sign was off to the side.

As we left, a funny exchange happened between John Hattan and a passing motorist who was giving us the finger. John loudly shouted "Happy Holidays!" to him in response to his show of support. He immediately stopped his car and got out, shouting "What did you say?" John repeated "Happy Holidays!". He screamed "F*ck You, Jehova's Witness!", got in his car, and took off.

The Parker County Commissioner's Court should be proud of their articulate supporters.

After arriving back at the party barn, we did the gift exchange, which was a lot of fun. Eighteen people brought gifts, so we had a spirited exchange.

Colin shows off what was probably the most useful gift in the collection. He got a collection of books to help him prepare for all those Y2K power and water outages.

Books were popular in the gift-exchange. From left to right are Cosmos by Carl Sagan, Essays in Freethinking by Chapman Cohen, and Why I Am Not A Christian by Bertrand Russel.

Somebody decided to forego shopping for a gift and packed a ten-dollar bill in about a dozen nested boxes. Since the rules for our gift-exchange allowed folks to steal other peoples' gifts instead of opening one of your own, Sammi-Ruth took the opportunity to steal the bill from Shane.

Ironically, Shane decided to open a new present rather than steal somebody else's, and ended up with a five-dollar bill.

One of the funnier gifts was an authentic Bibleman mask and cape. For the uninitiated, Bibleman is a TV superhero, played by washed up child star Willie Aames, who defeats the enemies of Evangelical Christianity (presumably named reason-man, common-sense-man, and critical-thinking-man).

The Bibleman costume quickly became part of Hogan's permanent party-barn decor, as we dressed up an inflatable male sex doll that he had hanging from the ceiling. He will now be watching over us for all further parties!

Party newcomer Terry shows off her brand new outdoor thermometer. Her old thermometer was broken, so it worked out.

And for your parting gift, a vegetable steamer!

Dick Hogan's granddaughter proved that she's not quite ready to lose her amateur status at foosball.

Finally, a big vote of thanks to all of the folks who supported Metroplex Atheists by buying book-covers here. Thanks to you, not only can we go another year without charging membership dues or "passing the hat", but we were able to afford a top-flight party that will undoubtedly get us some new regular members. In a year, we've gone from five regularly-attending members to around twenty, and you helped.

Y2K was a great year for Metroplex Atheists, and we hope that Y2K+1 will be even better.

We hope a great time was had by all, and we hope to see you for the next party!